try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
home. puking in laundry basket.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
In other news, I just burned my penis
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
