Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
