It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize