I'm so fucking centered right now
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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