Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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