Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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