Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
