this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
