Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Can you bring me the toilet please
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
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