Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
