first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
