I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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