Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
