so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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