Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize