How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
