So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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