My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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