Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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