Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
