Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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