I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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