can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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