I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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