I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize