dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
