I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize