Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
