if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
