some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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