I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
