Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
