i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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