why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
