I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize