hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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