oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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