How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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