Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize