worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
