My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
