What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize