Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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