note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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