Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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