i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We just shotgunned beers for America
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
