I wannas sexs uuuuu
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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