How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
