My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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