We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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