Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
