Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
