kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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