my phone needs a breathalizer
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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