I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
