OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
