You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
