I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
