"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
