I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
