guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize