literally had 100 drinks last night.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
