HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
