NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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