If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
