They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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