I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
