I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
