glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
