remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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