I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
