let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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