so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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