I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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